Reply to how to discipline without yelling/punishing/threatening/bribing

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[quote=Anonymous]I hear you, OP. We struggle with my 5yo doing a lot of what you described.  We try to focus on positive reinforcement and praise when his behavior is what's expected, and time outs or loss of privileges for bad behavior.  And with loss of privileges, you have to find what works. This will sound bad, but you have to threaten to take away the thing that is the most precious to them, whether it's a toy, or play time after dinner, whatever.  Threatening to take away something the kid doesn't care about isn't going to motivate his behavior.

I also seem to get a good response when I say in my quiet, stern voice, "I've asked you twice to do this.  [b]I'm starting to get frustrated.[/b]  Please do it now or we'll have to take a break from playing."  When I voice my own feelings about what's happening, DS seems to pay more attention because most 5-6yo don't want their parents to be upset with them.  I try to refrain from yelling because that just causes DS to melt down.

Also, you HAVE to follow through.  Every damn time.  It's exhausting and soul-sucking, but they have to know you mean business.  For this reason, you can't threaten something that's unenforceable.

Lastly, have you noticed any triggers that precede this behavior?  My DS' behavior is awful when he's hangry, tired, or wanting attention from us.  I try to be mindful of what else might be causing the behavior because sometimes addressing the underlying issue alone is enough to change the behavior. [/quote]

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