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[quote=Anonymous]I’m a female and I lost my libido after having a kid. Part of it was certainly body image issues- it’s really difficult to accept your post-baby body, especially in a culture that glorifies size 2 twenty year olds with fake breasts. But a huge part was underlying martial problems and resentments I didn’t even know I had, and that I was able to uncover only in couples therapy. There was a lot of hidden pain from both my marriage and even past relationships that prevented me from wanting sex. I think having a child really changes our perspective on sex, since it makes you realize what a truly spiritual and special thing it is, rather than just being fun/recreation. It can be very difficult to go through something so emotional, especially if you have problems or resentments with your partner (such as you not wanting more kids). It makes us feel very vulnerable. So definitely find a good couples therapist.

I’d also recommend getting her thyroid and hormones checked, my own thyroid went out of whack after having my first.

Good luck! You sound like you really care and want a solution, rather than just pressuring her to put out. And keep up the massages, those types of bonding behaviors are super important. [/quote]

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