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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I recently found out that my boyfriend of 3 years is still supporting his ex- wife. The support is not court ordered. He pays child support and supplements the mortgage on the home they had together. He often pays for outside activities.  The child support will end soon.

I make significantly more than him and hr has asked for money in the past. I didn't mind sharing to an extent but when I found out that he is still supporting her, I was shocked.  She will not get a better job. I am afraid that he will continue to justify doing this when the kids are in college. If we get married, I am also afraid he will use our combined income to live.[/quote]

It is entirely possible to have an agreement regarding support that is not court-ordered. If it is occurring on a schedule (e.g., child support + $500/mo for mortgage) that is pretty normal, actually. My ex is also required by our agreement to pay for our daughter's extracurricular activities and out of pocket medical expenses.

If you would like to address this situation graciously, you can ask him about the structure and terms of the agreement. Leave out your obvious issues with his ex-wife's employment situation. If you are this concerned about this, it sounds like you probably shouldn't marry him, tbh.[/quote]

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