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[quote=Anonymous]My father has a long-term illness and my mom calls me almost daily to vent to me about his issues. I don’t know how to just listen; I always want to offer suggestions and try to solve issues, and she gets so angry. She is very resentful, scared, sad, and stressed. She refuses to join a support group. They have no other family, and I have no siblings. She’s a very high-strung person under the best of circumstances, and this has only exasperated the anxiety.

I just don’t know what she wants me to say, what she wants to hear from me. Example: “I’m so upset. Your father promised he’d paint the hallway before he got sick, now he can’t.” I’ll offer a solution like, “Well, John and I can come paint one weekend, or we can pull together some cash and have Bob’s sister’s husband get it done.” She will get so mad, “You just don’t get it do you, he can’t do anything around the house anymore.”

I help when I can, I really do. But she’s so stubborn and doesn’t want it. I’ve said, “I’m so sorry this is all happening, mom” so many times, she’s now mad and told me to stop telling her how sorry I am.

I’m failing here. I’m always saying the wrong thing. Please help, dcum, what do I say? What words is she looking for from me? How do I just listen?[/quote]

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