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[quote=Anonymous]My middle schooler has ADHD and it manifests as a lack of organization and impulse control. Our son was diagnosed this summer.

I want to help him be successful in school this year without being a helicopter parent. He is smart but lazy about doing his homework and studying for tests.

Last year (also middle school), after we found out that he wasn't doing any of his homework, my DH went on Google classroom every night and compared what the teachers assigned to what our son had done and made our son complete the rest of his homework.

I do NOT want to be a helicopter parent, and I don't think what my DH did last year was helpful (we disagreed vehemently and I finally gave up) because that's not going to be possible in college/real life. My point of view is, our son has to learn on his own how to do his work when it's assigned. Better for him to fail middle school than college/his first real job/etc. My DH's point of view is that our son needs help so we need to be behind him every step of the way. But he can't tell me when we can step back and let our son take the reins of his schoolwork.

I want to get our son a planner to help him organize his schoolwork but our son refuses and my DH agrees (he also has organization problems and ADHD). My son says everything is on Google classroom and that's enough.

Already he hasn't brought home a paper from a teacher that we need to sign (she told us about it at Back to Night) and it's not on Google classroom, so it's the first week of school and we're already behind.

I understand that my DH and my parenting needs to align. What I am asking for help with is how to help our son. I don't want to helicopter our son but my DH is happy to go online and check Google classroom every night and then force our son to sit down and do his work.

I've looked for resources in several books but I didn't find them to help our situation (i.e., the Smart but Scattered books just recommended using cell phones to remind kids about everything; our son doesn't have a cell phone and we're not getting him one any time soon).

Any recommendations for how to help my son succeed without being a helicopter parent?

TIA![/quote]

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