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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]twice a week, go in early to work in a separate car. take care of the animals before you leave.

hire a housekeeper or a service to clean the house once/week and do some laundry. [/quote]

OP here--DH does not want to hire a cleaning service....it's a battle....he does not want other people in the house without him being there. I have tried this twice and it's a yelling match: "they did a poor job...the house is still dirty...I have to pick up stuff before they come..."  I have hired a lawn service as well on a case by case basis and it's the same "they did a really poor job".  The reason I hire the lawn service is DH not having time to do it himself.[/quote]
tell him.... "then you can clean because I'm too tired".  End of story.[/quote]

I did that as well and nothing was done for two weeks until I got sick of living in a filthy house....this is why I think there is a deeper issues. When I was dating DH, the house was cleanish....not perfect, but also not filthy....[/quote]
Then hire the cleaner.  Tell him you will keep having the cleaner come until he starts cleaning the house.

His issue is that now that he has more responsibilities, he's finding that he can't handle all of it, but can't admit it to himself, or that he thinks you as the woman should do everything but also can't admit that to himself.  I knew a guy who said that up until he got married, he thought he'd be a really progressive husband, then he got married and he started to think his wife should do all the cooking, even though she worked too. The male misogyny and stereotypical ideals about household chores and parenting starts to creep up after getting married, and especially after having kids.[/quote]

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