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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This prevalence of casually eliminating your close blood relatives from your life, to me, is pretty disturbing. Again to be clear, I do not mean situations where people have had the unfortunate occurrence of being born into a family with drug addicts or alcoholics or with any form of abuse. I mean normal families made up of normal, every day, well intentioned but inevitably flawed individuals.

These are the mothers who love their children but also pressured them to excel academically, almost to a fault.

These are the fathers who worked hard to provide for their families and as such more time in board rooms and business travel than cheering at every soccer game.

These are the parents who adore their children and are good people but happen to be Republican or support Trump.

These are the Muslim parents who gave up everything to move their family to the U.S for a better life but did not have the cultural knowledge to help their children adjust to a new culture.

These are the dads who work so much that when they come home they might be exhausted and be a little short with their children.

This is the single mom who maybe perhaps treated her kids more like friends than children.

etc etc

So many of these children grow up and viciously cut off their mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers claiming "abuse!" and  "toxicity."

Of course people are allowed their feelings and opinions. But aren't people who love you supposed to be kind and forgiving of your flaws? Everyone messes up. Everyone has their not-their-best moments. The beauty of family and love is that you can know someone at their worst and still accept them and love them.

Nowadays you are tiptoeing around your loved ones out of the fear that you may accidentally hurt their feelings and never be invited to spend Christmas with them again!

What a crazy thought!

[/quote]

Everyone I know who has experience with estrangement was for all of the reason you initially excluded.  I think any/all of these "well-intention" example are typically included unless as part a symptom of their other issues.  I shall provide real examples where I can that I know to illustrate this point.

Examples:

These are the mothers who love their children but also pressured them to excel academically, almost to a fault.  [b]My high school friend committed suicide in after she flunked out of an Ivy as she couldn't handle the pressure from the mother.  The mother would not allow her to move home after she flunked out given the shame of it.  As a result, she committed suicide.  Her sister won't talk to the mother as she is to blame for pushing the sister so hard and to her death [/b]

These are the fathers who worked hard to provide for their families and as such more time in board rooms and business travel than cheering at every soccer game.  [b]No example here[/b]

These are the parents who adore their children and are good people but happen to be Republican or support Trump.  [b]My story about being disowned by my racist 45 supporting parents because I'm married to someone else of a different race.  You can't be good people and like 45[/b]

These are the Muslim parents who gave up everything to move their family to the U.S for a better life but did not have the cultural knowledge to help their children adjust to a new culture.  [b]Law associate friend who married a someone outside her religion.  Her parents and family kicked her out.[/b]

These are the dads who work so much that when they come home they might be exhausted and be a little short with their children.  [b]I guess I can group this with my college friend's father who was exhausted and short with him growing up and eventually disowned him for being gay, but other than that no example of a kid cutting off the father for exactly this.[/b]

This is the single mom who maybe perhaps treated her kids more like friends than children.  [b]Or my bff from college whose single mom had too many men coming in and out of her life, and one ended up sexually assaulting her as a child.  When she told her mom, she didn't believe her.[/b]

I assume that you are OP or one of the PPs from the "How do you feel about people who cut off family for no reason?" thread.  As I mentioned on that thread, there is always a reason, and it probably way more horrible than you've been told.  If you disagree, what your personal experiences with this?  [/quote]

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