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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "My DH regrets having kids"
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[quote=Anonymous]Hey, I'm a single mom and occasionally I feel the same way. I entered momhood kind of unexpectedly and my life was pretty damn awesome before. I would have been fine not having kids. Some things about parenthood really don't suit me. I am very independent (which is part of why I'm not married) and it can be a drain on me to have someone depending on me all the time. I miss the relative spontaneity of my old life, even though I would not consider myself a spontaneous person. I miss "me" time and some of the hobbies I had to abandon. (golf, my volleyball team, dating, bar crawls.) :-) I have to tune out sometimes because I am just drained from the day and don't have much to give. That said, I love my daughter. I did ultimately choose to have her, and I don't regret it. I just have to be honest that I miss stuff about my old life. Her dad and I talk about it sometimes; he had never planned to have kids and he had to make some big changes too. But he seems ok with it most of the time. Maybe you need to step back and NOT take your husband's words as a slam against you. He loves you. I'm assuming he never said the same thing about married life. He's just saying he doesn't love the changes in lifestyle that children have brought. I'm not saying it's ok, but you may just have to say something like, "Tough titties. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard for me too. But it WILL get easier. They will not always be this young and this needy and we will not always be this tired." If you have any guy friends with older kids who seem pretty happy, this might be the time to bring in reinforcements. Or you may need to figure out if there are ways to recapture parts of yourself that have been lost to kids. Could you give him a poker night with the boys or a night/weekend off, and you get a girls' night out? [/quote]
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