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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So I tend to do something similar when my husband and I argue - I go quiet, and while I don't ignore him, I also don't initiate conversations and give short answers when spoken to. The reason is that I usually need time to process the argument and to cool down. My husband often wants to talk things out until they are resolved - he thrives on a heated exchange, that's just his personality, and he's still able to think clearly/logically during such an exchange. As for me, if I'm still fuming, I know I risk saying something I don't mean or something that's best left unsaid out of anger. Those extra few hours (or a day) make a huge difference to me - once I've cooled off, we can always calmly talk things out. Is your wife this way or is she actually trying to "punish" you? [/quote]

This was pretty much my experience with my ex fiance.  He wanted to fight until the death on everything whereas I needed some time to process and think things through before I discussed them.  No amount of "I need to sleep on this" or "I need a while to cool down so I can be rational about this" would suffice, it was either hash it out RIGHT THEN or never and of course nothing was ever officially hashed out until/unless he got his way.  He viewed everything as a competition that he HAD TO WIN (which also meant I had to lose), not as an opportunity to come to a mutually agreeable solution.  Thank god we broke up.

DH is more than happy to give me some space to think things over or cool down.  However, that's because he knows that I'll be willing to talk about it soon, I just need some time.  We both also prioritize what's right for our family over being the one who "wins".  [/quote]

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