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[quote=Anonymous]I’m a lesbian in my late 60s who spent the last 30 years married to a heterosexual man.  I loved my husband, but was not sexually or romantically attracted to him.  He passed away a few years ago and I was heartbroken but now I see this as an opportunity to live my true life.

I settled down and married my husband in the mid-80s because I wanted stability, a house, a family.  At the time, that wasn’t possible for a same-sex couple.  I don’t have any regrets because I have three beautiful adult children and two wonderful grandchildren.  The years I spent with my husband were happy, he was a great man.  But I was always lying to myself and lying to those around me.

I had relationships with women when I was young that were vibrant, passionate and true.  I made strong female friendships and had such an amazing community, but at the time devouring yourself to life as a gay person meant living in a subculture.  It’s not like it is today, it was signing a part of your life away.  It was saying goodbye to the house with the picket fence, a spouse, children, comfortable living.  It was a life of hardships.

Over the past couple of decades (particularly the last two) I’ve seen a massive flip.  It’s been amazing to watch from the outside, I feel like a secret agent.

We have new neighbors, a lesbian couple in their early 40s with two young children.  I feel a sting of jealousy.  Had I been born a few decades later, I could have had it all.  The house, the spouse, the kids.  Perfect unity.

I know there is an increase of older lesbians and gay men coming out of the closet.  I’m interested in dating, but I feel past my prime.  Most older lesbians are settled.  I also worry about the reaction of my kids.  How funny.  So many young kids worrying about how their grandparents will react, and I’m in the same shoes at 66.

Mostly rambling, life is a journey. [/quote]

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