Reply to 3 year old son constantly hurts little brother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

We try to follow Janet Landsbury and Positive Parenting ideas, which means that do not do time outs. They all seem to stress to DO NOT REACT to the aggressor, because that is negative attention.

We are modeling, piling on positive attention, etc etc. Hes fed and rested. Good diet, and he’s home with me. He’s not bored. [/quote]

I say this with love, but what you are doing is not working.  The problem isn't that you're not following the philosophy strictly enough, it's that it doesn't work, at least for your son.  Look at your OP: you're terrified, you're exhausted, you feel like you're doing all you can.  So it's time to switch tactics.

You can still parent positively without hewing to this particular lady's philosophy.  Sit your son down and explain to him that you don't hurt people.  Teach him the golden rule and empathy.  Explain that if he doesn't treat people kindly there will be consequences (time out, losing a privilege, etc.).  Follow through and enforce those consequences.

I know you did research and settled on this philosophy for good reasons.  I know you feel like it's you failing as a parent and not the philosophy you've chosen failing your child.  But you need to be flexible, you need to react to the reality you're facing, you need to teach your older son to interact kindly with other children, and you need to protect the safety of your younger son.  Maybe the Positive Parenting thing was the right tool when you had an only child, and you've found its limitations in your household.  There's no shame in that.  But you can't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.[/quote]

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