Reply to Puberty turned my kid into a monster

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Reply to "Puberty turned my kid into a monster"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, I wouldn't suspect hormones! I would think about friend issues, boy issues, problems at schools, with teachers, self esteem, self mutilation, etc.

All girls go through puberty, but we don't throw phones and call our moms bitch! Something else might be going on. [/quote]

Its all of this together and throw in lots of friend re-shuffling that puts a TON of pressure on social status.  I agree about giving her control when you can.  Their life feels out of control so pick your battles and let her exercise independence where it really doesn't matter.  I also found that when my DD was having an outsized reaction to something it helped to acknowledge that it was important to HER.  For example, when freaking out about what to wear on a particular day rather than tell her shes being ridiculous, you say "It seems like looking just right is really important to you today"  then wait . . .  you may get the story behind the freakout.  I suspect the sleepover was loaded with more than just a regular get together.  For her it may have been important to solidify her social position in a changing landscape  or just Fear of missing out (but that's a big thing to kids this age).  Try to get her to talk about the feeling behind the rage bybeing willing to ask the questions and listen and dont tell her her feelings are invalid.  That doesnt mean you give her anything she wants but my DD would accept no if I could say, "I understand why it's important to you because of x, y, z but I can't make it work today." [/quote]

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