Reply to Children Inheriting Large Sums of Money

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[quote=Anonymous]I will start by saying that I know this is in the category of first world problems and that I should be grateful for this, so please, I am well aware of that but still very concerned and wondering what others have done in similar situations.

To greatly simplify - I have an elderly relative who I would wager money has a severe personality disorder. She is impossible to deal with and has alienated the entire family. She never married. She and my mother are sisters and are enmeshed - for lack of a better word. For this reason, trying to maintain a relationship with my mother has meant having some contact with elderly relative.

Elderly relative wants to leave large sum of money to my children. Originally she had drawn up a document that placed another distant relative - who neither she nor I communicate with - as custodian of the money until my children turned 18 - at which point my children were to gain unrestricted access to it. I was very upset by this. First, I was worried about the ramifications of such young adults getting that much money all at once. Second, I was upset at having basically a stranger in charge of it both because I don’t know whether the person is responsible and because I was worried about how all of this would interfere with my relationship with my children. While I tell myself that I will raise them responsibly and to be good people, I also feel that you never know and 18 is very young. Why listen to mom telling me to study hard when they know they have a pot of cash waiting?

Additionally as is probably evident, elderly relative and I have a lot of bad history and I can’t shake the feeling that she is doing this - knowing I am opposed to it — as a way to reach out from the grave after she dies and still interfere in my life. I have begged her to change it into a more sensible Trust or even better to leave it to someone else entirely, but she refuses and tells me I am “stupid about money” and don’t know what I’m talking about.

Again I am well aware of the absurdity of this situation, but advice? Am I way off base in my reaction to this? Has anyone been in this position? How have you handled?[/quote]

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