Reply to BF's family way too close to ex wife

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I met my BF through work.  We were friends for a year and after I found another job we stayed in touch.  After that we dated for a few months and became BF/GF 6 months ago.  It's serious and we have met each others friends and family.  There are currently no plans to live together and marriage is something way down the line.  I am very happy with him except I see one major red flag.  His family is still close with his ex wife and they don't even have children.  They divorced 3 years ago and did not part on good terms but she still kept in touch with his family.

[b]I am not a jealous person and don't want to be controlling[/b] but this dynamic gets on my last nerve.  What makes it even worse is that she moved away after the divorce and she moved back and everyone is now living in the same city.  BF's identical twin brother posts pictures of her on his social media when they go clubbing together with their group of friends.  His parents have dinner with her.  I know of 2 instances and she has been back in town less than a month.  I realize she has been gone a long time and everyone is happy to see her but[b] I don't want this woman in my orbit.  I asked my BF if this bothers him and he said no.  He said he knows it might be awkward but he can't control his brother and parents.  They have their own separate relationship with her that does not involve him.  Here is the part that really upset me.  He told me not to make an issue of it with his parents and brother.[/b]  It would only make them mad and they will never give up their relationship with his ex wife for my sake and I will have to get use to it.

This really bothers me but I have been told point blank not to bring it up and get use to it.  For the first time in our relationship I am having second thoughts about our relationship.  I keep asking myself what am I getting myself into.  I have never even met this woman and she is already causing trouble just by being around.  Any advice?[/quote]

Yeah, you actually are a really jealous and controlling person. You don't just want to control your boyfriend, you want to control your boyfriend's brother and parents, and who is "in your orbit" (appears in your facebook feed?).  You've been dating this guy 6 months, and you want him to tell his family who they can and can't spend time with in order to placate your feelings.  He should be seeing red flags everywhere from this interaction and running for the hills.[/quote]

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