Reply to 4.5 year old will not play by herself EVER.

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[quote=Anonymous]My 4.5 year old can also be like this and, like you, I was not played with by adults as a kid (born in 1981 here), so it is kind of baffling to me.  She has lots of playmates at her preschool/daycare and I think she kind of just expects us to step in when she's at home as well.  It's a bit easier now that her sister is almost 2 and they can kinda play together (kinda...) but what has helped me the most is to simply tell her, firmly but lovingly, that I cannot play with her and am not going to.  Boy, that sounds mean to write out, but again, I was not raised that parents should be playmates (and there's plenty of parenting blogs out there that say parents are terrible playmates for children)--I will provide her space to play, I will provide games, toys, take her places where she can engage with others to play, but a solid 75% of the time, I am not going to actually play with her and I'm not going to feel bad about it.  I will do a puzzle with her or play an actual game, but that's something that counts as an adult amusement/activity as well, same as doing a sport or throwing a ball, whatever.  So in short--be honest with her--I'm not going to play with you, I'm going to do x.  I will be over here, doing x, go have fun doing your choice of whatever.  She is old enough to amuse herself and the more hands off you are (like, leave her to choose the activity), the more she will be into it.  It won't be hours and hours of peace, but you should get 45 mins to an hour.[/quote]

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