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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The whole “kids are resilient” line is crap that parents tell themselves to justify their decisions. [/quote]

Divorced mom here and I agree. I also think kids can't comprehend their feelings and keep them hidden inside...esp teens and pre teens. You will see glimpses of the pain and it's very raw and real. My oldest had a really hard time 7 years later after college when she approached her own engagement with a great guy. It's just all hit her like "omg wonder if it all ends in 18 yrs like my mom and dad." And we had a very friendly divorce. Exdh bought a house in our development, kids were able to be in and out whenever, etc etc. It's just still a HUGE trauma under the best circumstances. I'll never forgot my son once said  (in regards to his highschool swim team) "this is so much fun, it's my life, it's my friends, it's everything but I always wonder if it will blow up and end just like the divorce." [b]It's like they carry that fear of mass destruction with them.[/b][/quote]

I am a fan of trying like hell not to get divorced. That said, I just want to point out that any big life disappointment or tragedy will create the effect you mention. I know I deal with this due to a sibling's sudden death. Again, not a fan of divorce if there is any possibility of saving the marriage, but on the other hand there is only so much you can do to protect your kids from what is often a pretty cruel world. [/quote]

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