Reply to my spotless mind doesn't feel so happy

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[quote=Anonymous]I work in a nursing home; all of the residents have lost their parents and grandparents and most have lost their siblings, too - but their past is still such a part of them. We spend a lot of time sharing stories and reminiscing within our recreational activities.

You’re in the thick of motherhood; it’s so wonderful, but at the same time it’s an enormous change. It can feel like we’ve lost who we were before kids, even for people who still have their parents at and remain connected to their childhood community. There’s such a “before” and “after”; to some extent we are different people after becoming parents, and as we move further away from our youth.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that your feelings are normal at this stage of life — that’s why so many people reconnect with old flames from their youth on social media, etc. It can be a very powerful draw, to recapture some of that, with people who knew us when we were more footloose and fancy free. And for you, without that real-life connection to your early history, that longing is even stronger, and it’s painful. It’s so understandable.

But remember, these people, these memories are still so much a part of you; they make you who you are. It’s hard because kids are naturally self-absorbed and very focused on the here and now, and getting their immediate needs met.
Maybe focusing more on yourself, as PP said, and finding time to do things that are meaningful to you, will relieve some of this loneliness.

You are still your mother’s daughter. You have a rich history. Take the time to reconnect with yourself, your memories, etc.
Reaching out to the ex won’t solve things.

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