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[quote=Anonymous]I am having a hard time dealing with a husband who is chronically depressed. It seems like he is always anxious or down about something: stress at work, worrying about upcoming doctors visits, complaining about how his parents were crappy parents and damaged him, complaining about how hard he has had things all his life, etc. He is just a constant state of seeing the glass half empty. This attitude has obviously not been good for our marriage. I basically feel stuck with someone who i can’t share much joy with. I don’t enjoy being with him as much as I enjoy the company of my friends. I am always feeling like I’m just helping him cope. He doesn’t like to socialize or go out of his comfort zone. I honestly am not sure we would still be married if it weren’t for the fact that we have a daughter and he is a very good father.

The latest argument we had is because he has a big milestone birthday coming up. He has been seeming particularly morose the last few days and tonight he told me it’s because he’s thinking about how old he is, how much of his life is over, and he’s fearful about old age and death. He is older than me but in good shape physically and I tried to tell him to see the positive and to start enjoying his life instead of always dwelling on negative things. I didn’t say these things in an especially comforting way. I think my irritation showed. So he said he felt pushed away, and now he feels like he can’t talk to me when things bother him and that will just make him want to withdraw from me.

He has been in therapy for years, but I’m not sure it’s been especially effective. Maybe I’m expecting too much, but I just wish he could learn to feel some gratitude for the things he has. He says he knows he’s fortunate but he sure doesn’t act like it. I just don’t know how to help him, and am having a hard time coping with the negativity myself. Does anyone have experience with a depressed spouse who can offer any advice?[/quote]

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