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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First, I would stop attributing ill motives to him. He may not have known about the money when you had the conversation, or maybe he's concerned his mom won't be reliable about giving him the money and is worried that without your help to cover the necessities, he'll be in a mind.

Second, I would wait and see how this year plays out under the current agreement. If he does end up getting all of the money and has plenty of spending money to spare, you can revisit the arrangement for next school year and see about easing up on the spending allowance you give him.

Finally, I would remember that he seems to be a good kid who's going into this in good faith. He presumably worked hard to get into this school, he doesn't appear to have questioned the small budget you set for spending money, and he's been working full time and saving his earnings to help cover his expenses as well. That's not a kid who's looking to freeload off you. Give him the benefit of the doubt and don't take out your frustrations with the ex on him.
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I agree with this. I was the child in this situation and it’s very awkward to discuss spending money each parent gives with the other parents. She is giving him extra money so he can see a movie or download a new video game or take a girlfriend out to dinner. It doesn’t sound like it’s 5k a month or anything outrageous. If he quits his summer job or starts slacking off at school next fall, then revisit. But he is a good kid, don’t put him in the middle of this and just trust that your good parenting will help him make smart decisions with this extra windfall. [/quote]

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