Reply to Spinoff - Kids invited to everything but the reception

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[quote=Anonymous]We are planning to attend my BIL's wedding.  It is a destination wedding during the school year at an extremely expensive resort.  Between plane tickets, hotel room, rental car I'm guessing we will spend a minimum of $6k to be at this event.  My girls will be 10, 6, and 3.  We love this BIL and fiance, and there has been a lot of discussion of what my girls will wear as flower girls, etc.  It is a multi-day event with dinners Thursday and Friday, then the wedding and reception on Saturday.  They are paying for it themselves and my guess is the cost will be in the hundreds of thousands (and they have it no problem).  My annoyance is coming because I was just told my kids are invited to everything BUT the reception.  So, they are invited to sit through the rehearsal and dinner (boring for kids), and to be present in expensive clothes (bought by me) for the ceremony, but they aren't invited to the reception.  My husband kind of asked his brother if the kids could just pop in for an hour to dance and have a piece of cake, and I guess the answer is no.  We were planning to have a sitter for the evening anyway, because the kids wouldn't stay for long even if they were invited (especially the 3yo), but now I'm frustrated.  My older two kids were SO looking forward to this family celebration.  I'm not sure I feel like shelling out this huge amount of $$ to have them disappointed in essentially being asked to look nice and behave for an hour and then go up and watch tv in the hotel room.  We could leave them home, but that presents logistical problems of its own (hiring an overnight sitter for 3-4 days won't be cheap either).  I do really like these people and want to show up for them, especially because my MIL died this year and it's been rough on everyone, but it seems really crappy to ask your nieces to participate in a destination wedding but not allow them to be part of the celebration.   The other nieces/nephews in the equation are staying home, but they are all pre-school aged and younger, so it's kind of a different calculation. [/quote]

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