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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would stick with th plans you have with your niece, if they are already made.

I know it’s nice to think so, but you’re not a family yet. Your actual familyand niece are still the most important ones in your life.

It sounds like you wil “have” the kids together all weekend. You will have plenty of time to be with them. Personally, I don’t think that some time apart for 4th celebrations is such a bad thing at this point (just meeting /first time for an extended trip). It may actually be good for them to have some just dad/grandma time.

The thing is, both families are always going to be a consideration in the future. It’s not “your” family vs. “his” family. Someone is always going to “get” Christmas or 4th of July, or whatever. Compromise, flexibility, and sometimes thinking outside the box, are always going to make it possible for your relationship to continue. What so often happens is the loudest family gets the most time, resentment builds up... and things fall apart. Set your boundaries now that YOUR family is important too, and that you have every right to think of them as just as important as he thinks of his.

I know blending a family is hard, but you don’t have to give up everything to do it. That’s not up to you. [/quote]

The kids know me well. They aren’t just meeting me. This trip is about them meeting the rest of the family. I’m thinking about the kids too when making these decisions. I mean imagine being 3 and meeting 50 people at once. Then add drinking and loud fireworks. She’s shy. I fully understand him wanting to include his family but I think it should be grandparents(they’ve never met his stepdad) and then slowly adding more family. [/quote]

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