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[quote=Anonymous]I think all kids go through this in varying degrees - realizing your parents are perfect, recognizing that they are actually people with their own faults and their own approach to life. It's harder to reconcile when that realization comes earlier than later but honestly it happens to everyone.

I think you take the opportunity to have those types of discussions. Your daughter sounds mature enough to handle a more mature and nuanced conversation as you've done here. I'd leave out "he's never going to change", "he's never going to grow up" because frankly, you don't know that to be true and your words are clouded by the person you knew, the person he's showing and doesn't really provide any insight as to how his life will change, if at all. I wouldn't set him to doom - at least out loud with your daughter.

I would highlight the good parts and try to focus on that but also let your daughter know that in some situations that although we think a parent is a leader and teacher, that she is more than capable to do the same for people in her life - including her father. Let her know that her presence and existence has made him better and that with her help and influence that she will be able to help him in understanding what she needs from her dad. Teaching her how to use her words and express what she feels - not to only you, whom she trusts but with him - who by all accounts doesn't sound like someone who is altogether unwilling to hear this from the one he truly adores.

We often think that it takes a village to raise a child. We tend to forget that sometimes it takes a village to take care of the others - the adults and help them in a way that will truly be in the interest of your daughter. Use this as an opportunity to teach her grace, forgiveness and learning how to use her voice wisely and kindly.[/quote]

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