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[quote=Anonymous]My ex and I married young after a romantic fast relationship. While the marriage was short lived, we had a daughter who is now 9 years old.

My ex is a hopeless romantic. He is kind, sweet and generous. He has a bubbly,  personality, and is a lot of fun. He absolutely adores our daughter and until recently she has adored him. He walked on water in her eyes. All their time together was fun and happy and he lavishes her with love and attention when she is with him.

On the other side, he is irresponsible, immature, impulsive and a risk taker. He has severe ADHD and medication has done little. He has had multiple serious relationships. He attracts women easily due to his looks, charm, and personality and they fall hard (as does he). He has been engaged 3 times since we divorced and in two other relationships where he lived with the women. Similar to our relationship, what seems so amazing at the start slowly loses its appeal and the reality of life with someone who can't really adult sets in and the relationship ends. Being adored by a hopeless romantic is not enough.

My daughter is also now just starting to realize that her dad isn't so perfect. She is starting to want him to be more serious, more committed, more responsible, more stable, more structured than he is.  She is starting to be frustrated by his impulsivity and his irresponsibility. At the same time she sees how much he loves her and she can't put these two things together. He really doesn't 'parent' her as much as be her best buddy and friend. She told me, "I wish he would be more like a normal dad". She doesn't want her weekends with him to be all about adventure and spontaneity and big things. She wants him to take her to soccer, spend time with her playing games, let her have a friend over, and just have a 'normal' weekend. She is tired of all the new amazing girlfriends in his life who are going to be her new step mom and then they vanish only to be quickly replaced. His parents often rescue her on his weekends so she can have some downtime with them as he is very high energy all the time.

I have realized that she is now at the point where she is more mature and responsible than he is and she is disappointed in what that new reality is telling her. Her dad has many really good qualities but he is not going to change. His brain is just wired this way and he will never 'grow up'. I sometimes wonder if he had brain damage at birth (his mother was on drugs). I am not sure how to help her figure him out and still see the good. I don't want her to become disillusioned with him this young or grow distant from him. I already see a little reluctance when he calls or wants to pick her up.

Any suggestions?[/quote]

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