Reply to How much to push kids?

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "How much to push kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need to at least give her 2 weeks to adjust. That's teaching grit and commitment - especially since the camp staff says she seems fine and happy during the day. Sometimes the *anticipation* of a thing is worse than the actual thing.

If after 2 weeks she is still crying about going, then it's time to discuss alternatives. Perhaps you could drive her to eliminate the bus ride but still keep her in camp.

[b]I know it must be breaking your heart to see her upset, but unless there is more going on that you haven't included, this is probably a case of teaching your child to be resilient.[/b] A summer camp with friends is not a horrible place to learn life lessons.[/quote]

Agree with this.  By pulling her out prematurely, it might inadvertently teach her that she can't handle challenges.

Also, what is your/spouse's behavior like when she gets on the bus, and when she complains about camp at home?  Could it be seen as coddling/reinforcing, which might cause your child to play up her discomfort for your attention?  Or is it more matter of fact, letting her know that you believe things will get better, that stopping camp early is not an option, and that she can do it?

You mention that she's not great with separation or new experiences--I wonder if she's sort of internalized this label?

I have a similar 6yo who is shy in new situations, but we've been really sticklers about communicating to her that she can do it, and we try to expose her to lots of new situations so that she gains confidence.  She is also on the bus this week for the first time.

Here is a quote from an article on parenting and anxiety.  The article is specifically about shyness, but I think it applies to other types of anxiety too:

[b]"When parents are overprotective, children miss out on opportunities to practice regulating feelings of shyness, increasing the risk for anxiety, Coplan says.

That can be a hard message for parents to hear. "When you're looking at a child feeling shy, the first thing you want to do is swoop down and protect them," Henderson says. "The trick for parents is to back off a little, to be supportive but let the child take little steps to doing things on her own."
[/b]
http://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/11/bashful.aspx[/quote]

One other thought--I might try to normalize that many kids feel a bit nervous in the beginning when going to camp, but that things tend to get easier as you get used to it.  I'd even consider maybe a "brave behavior" sticker chart or similar, with a chance to win a small prize after mutually agreed upon goals (e.g., after 5 days of attending camp in a row, she gets a small toy, movie night, or something else she really enjoys but doesn't get often)  I also might take a PP's suggestion to give it a couple weeks--if things are still just as bad in two weeks, or there are concrete negatives about the camp, perhaps consider pulling out.  But if you see her having an easier time at two weeks, I'd keep her in.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics