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[quote=Anonymous]It's possible the issue isn't just depression.  She may also have ADD.  It manifests very differently in women than in men, and a lot of women aren't properly diagnosed.  The frustration of that could be what is making it difficult for her to get on track and stay on track.  But even if she doesn't have ADD, it sounds like she needs medication to help manage the mood swings.

I don't have any suggestions for you except that if you truly want to help her, you have to take the judgment out of your tone.  And don't call it "adulting."  If she has a combination of mental illness and low self-esteem, then you have to understand that her difficulty isn't because of some failure on her part to be an adult.  It's because she has an illness that's difficult to treat and manage.  But if you keep suggesting that it's all her fault or her failure to adult, that's just going to further crush any shred of self-esteem she has.

It's like telling someone who is hard of hearing that it's their fault they can't hear; they're just not trying hard enough.  If you really want to help them, help them find a hearing aid.  Don't just tell them to "hear better" on their own.

I would also suggest that it's not a therapist she needs.  It's a psychiatrist.  She needs medication to help manage her moods.

And last but not least, was she dating someone?  I don't know you or your sister, but it's possible that she was okay for a while because she had a boyfriend (but possibly didn't tell anyone), and then something happened with the guy, and that's why she's spiraling down.  If that is the case, then she might have some serious self-esteem issues.  That's why having a boyfriend, regular validation, helps her at least stay afloat, but without that, she spirals downward and assumes everyone is against her.[/quote]

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