Reply to Reality check? How to better assist aging parent from a distance.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous[b]]If it's not too late, do not allow the hospital to release him to home.  He cannot care for himself and doesn't have reliable care (because sometimes they don't show up).  They will find a bed for him in a rehab hospital. [/b] He will spend down his $$ until he qualifies for medicare.

Hard for DH to hear, but get a geriatric social worker to help deliver the message, as he has emotions tied in that you do not.  Do not risk your current life/your child future for your FILs end of life.  There is a saying, 90% of healthcare costs are in the last 10% of life.  It's true.

This is why you save for retirement:  your kids can borrow for college (hopefully not too much), but you cannot borrow for retirement.[/quote]

Yep.  All this. FIL needs to go to a rehab facility then a nursing home with whatever resources he has and the support (not financial, but the showing up type support) of those local to him.

It sounds like FIL is not in good shape at all--and if FIL is willing to be so stubborn that he dies sooner than he might otherwise (and it sounds like he's already declining), it's no one's fault but FIL's.

DH is directing his emotions at you and not thinking clearly.[/quote]

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