Reply to Ex Wife getting married to guy she had an affair with--question

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Reply to "Ex Wife getting married to guy she had an affair with--question"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you mean 'this is about her and not the kids'?

Is new guy good to kids?

If he is, let her move providing you/they can afford flights or travel. This is life. Is she a good mom?

I knew a dick dad who refused and so he got custody until the kids were 12 and then they moved to moms province and barely spoke to him again. They were 6 & 9 when it happened.[/quote]

OP is there father and sounds like he loves his kids.

Mom's boy toy has character strikes against him.

Anyone who becomes an affair partner to a married person with kids is an ass who does not deserve respect or understanding.[/quote]

Yes yes. We know. Scorched earth.

However, in REALITY, you have a situation where a parent with joint custody is remarrying and considering moving. Saying "you do not deserve respect or understanding" is not going to help solve that problem in the slightest. Whether OP's ex is a good mom and whether her fiance is good to the kids is very relevant for how to act. For example, if she is a terrible mother (aside from the affair, which is not by definition terrible parenting, just terrible wifing) and the fiance is mean to the kids, OP should fight like hell to get primary custody of his kids and prevent the move. If that is not the case, OP and his ex need to work out a custody plan that is in the best interests of the children. 100% of decisions by the OP should be made from that perspective, regardless of what his ex does or does not do.[/quote]

Given OPs wife is the one who had the affair and the one who is moving away from the kids' home and state, why should she have primary custody?  Just because she is a woman?

OP has said he is very involved in the kids' activities and has 50% custody. Staying with him and spending summers with mom would be the least disruptive for these kids and cause them the least upheaval.

Mom has chosen to destroy their world once. Now she wants to do it again.

Dad is keeping their lives as stable as possible. Not mom.

What are any good reasons why mom should have primary custody and be able to move them out of state, away from their established lives?  Why should they only see their dad a tiny fraction of the year when he is an involved dad with 50% custody?  Because he is a man?[/quote]

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