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[quote=Anonymous]We have a 24 YO son who graduated college a while ago in another city. He is responsible, hard working, and intelligent. Sadly, he has not found a professional job (though he has been looking/getting interviews), and has been working as a server in his city since sophomore year of college. He got scholarships and we covered the difference for his college, so luckily he doesn't have to worry about loans.

Around a month ago he unexpectedly lost his job. It wasn't his fault - he had a few months earlier started at a brand new restaurant that was not working out and they cut half their staff. He has been trying to get a new job - any job - since then, but the timing makes it hard (in the city he is in restaurants slow down and already hired a lot for the busy March-June season so there is a glut of service staff available and few openings).

He has decided his best course of action is to move back in with us, something both me and DH have suggested he should not. This is not because we don't want him around, but we know that independence is a big thing for him - he has been paying all his own living expenses since sophomore year of college and has always had a fiercely independent streak - plus he has not really 'lived' in DC since going off to college, he would stay for a week, maybe two each summer, and all his social connections are currently in his home city now. We both worry that coming home could cause him issues relating to depression and anxiety. We have told him this.

We are lucky enough that we could help him out financially until he finds something - and honestly it sounds like it might not take too much longer (he had a great interview for a serving position at one of the busiest high end restaurants in his city today and has a second at the same spot next week) - but it is clear that he is feeling like he is financially stretched too thin, and worries that even if he gets this job it will be too late anyway. Also, the fact that he paid his own living expenses all throughout college makes me want to help him through this - I don't want to go into detail here, but him doing so helped us through a bit of a financial rough patch ourselves - and its not like what we would be paying for is crazy expensive, he lives in a cheap room with a couple of roommates and is far too proud to take more then exactly what would get him by.

He has basically said he fully plans on moving back in within a month. I personally dont think this is a good idea - but accept it and won't lie, I am a bit excited to get to spend a bit more time with him one on one before he gets completely set. DH on the other hand really is against this plan. DH wants to help DS financially and thinks him moving back home would be bad news.

Full disclosure is that DH and DS have never been best friends, I personally think their personalities are far too similar and it leads to them clashing a lot. They love each other dearly, and its not like its constant arguing between them, but both are stubborn, fiercely independent, and intelligent which I think means they just feel the need to kind of push each other's buttons at times. D

I am just looking for your advice? Should I push DS to accept our assistance? Or have him move back in?[/quote]

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