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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think funerals can always be a bit jarring.  I really dislike caskets.  Knowing that their is a lifeless body of a loved one inside is really just too much for me.  I find funerals upsetting enough without that.  (Yes I really want to be cremated).

At my beloved grandfather's funeral I was about 12.  They had an open casket viewing the night before.  I remember thinking his face looked like a wax statue of him.  But then I looked at his hands and those were HIS HANDS.  It just shook me so to my core that those were my grandpa's hands in this casket on this dead body.  I will never forget it and it's been 25 years.

You are grieving OP.  It can be a complicated process and it's not always linear. Be gentle with yourself and your DH.[/quote]

I'm the pp.  And my dad was cremated.  My boys saw him before he passed at home, but he was very peaceful looking.  My oldest son who was very close to him was always asking to see him in the hospital and right up until the end.  I think it really helped him process his emotions.  During my youth and my mom's , kids were kept away until the funeral and it was more traumatic.

My dad was very proud and his one wish from when I was small was to not have a wake/open casket.  He was scarred from a childhood friends funeral and over the years he had been to so many where people just talked about the way people looked.

Prior to the cremation, my mom, sister and I went to see his body and it looked nothing like him.  I am so glad nobody else saw him but us.  He would have hated that--and especially for his grandsons to see him that way.

Even as a 48-year old adult,  I had a hard time processing when they removed my dad from the house and knowing his body was sitting in a freezer somewhere. I really never left his side in the hospital or for the ride back to our house for hospice.

I also have memories of my grandparents in open caskets.[/quote]

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