Reply to Who’s the parent here?? Where do I draw the line?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m curious as to people’s general parenting philosophy on when to let kids make their own decisions/mistakes and when to intervene?

Outside of dangerous situations (obviously) where is that line for you?  At 40 i grew up with a lot of fun hints just “happening” - school changes, activities stopped/started, babysitters/caregivers/coaches hired and fired. Now, we’ve moved to the opposite extreme where people are making homebuying decisions based on their children’s needs and preferences.

I want to take my children’s opinions into consideration and i also want to recognize that’s there’s a reason most 10 year olds can’t drive/vote/live alone because they aren’t done with their education and their brains aren’t fully developed.

What’s the right line between 100% my way and 100% catering to their preferences?  Any articles or thoughts?[/quote]

My view is that my kids are fully members of the family.  So, the default is that I take their opinions into consideration.  And if it's something that mostly affects them and isn't a health/safety issue, then they can decide, or can decide within the limits that I set (example: you can choose any extracurricular activity, so long as it fits our schedule and is within the budget).  But I am also a member of the family, so my time/convenience/opinion also counts--I'm not a shuttle service or an ATM, and if something is really inconvenient or time-consuming for me, that matters, too.

However, I am an adult with more life experience and knowledge, so my opinion carries more weight.  So, they might want to do X, but I know that X has certain downsides.  They either have to come up with a plan to address that, or the answer is no.  And since I'm the adult, and I pay all the bills, and I am ultimately responsible for their safety and well-being, I get arbitrary veto power.  I just try not to use it very often--I'd rather help my kids talk through decisions so that they can see how I do it and learn how to do it.  [/quote]

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