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[quote=Anonymous]I need help on how to handle this situation.

I have a friend who I used to be really good friends with, but her lack of discipline of her son really bothers me (in terms of how it relates to my son).  Her son often says very mean/rude things to my son (like "you're a baby, I don't want to be near you" or "Get away from me, I don't want to play with a baby"--her son is 4.5, mine is 3.5.  In fact he's said nasty things to me to, such as: "Your food sucks, I'm not eating it" when he came over to my house for dinner.  My friend just laughs and says nothing.

I distanced myself from this friend for more than a year because she just "looked the other way" whenever her son said these kinds of things and didn't say things like, "that's not a nice thing to say, go apologize" or something like that like I would say if my child said something like that.  She just said nothing.

After 1.5 years of distancing myself, I decided to give this friend another chance with the hope that her son is more mature now in terms of these comments, and we have a playdate scheduled this weekend at the pool.  Her son is an excellent swimmer and mine is still a beginner (taking swim lessons but still in the shallow end, still wears water wings).  I can imagine the kinds of comments her son is going to make now: "I don't want to play with him, he's just a baby in his water wings.  I can swim in the deep end," or "I'm a great swimmer and he sucks at swimming," etc.

If her son does say these mean comments, can I say something to the child like, "That is not a kind thing to say" or "That's not very nice?"  I don't want my son to think I'm not sticking up for him if I allow these comments to be said without saying anything.  But I also don't think it's my place to discipline other people's children.

How would you handle this?[/quote]

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