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[quote=Anonymous]My younger brother and I have grown apart considerably in the last 10 years (were never really close, we have a 5 year age-difference, etc. etc). Anyway, last year, per my Dad's request, we took him on a weeklong trip through Colorado for his 80th birthday with the understanding that my brother and I would split the cost. Half the plane ticket, half the hotel rooms, half the meals, half the transportation. We can both afford it.

Spouses were invited, but my husband opted to stay home with our daughter as she was not quite old enough for this kind of trip (2.5). Anyway, my brother brings his wife and since they have a room, he refuses to reimburse me half the cost of the room I had to share with my Dad. Dad ends up being too old to remain at altitude so he is up all night panicking and I am literally only getting 3 or 4 hours of sleep every night due to this. On about the 5th day, at my wits end, I ask (beg) my brother to at least share with dad for one night so I can one nights sleep so I can function. His wife tells me off and they skip out on dinner opting to go barhopping in Durango. The next day, my dad has had enough of the altitude and needs to go home. I find a last minute plane ticket out of Denver the next morning for my dad and now we need to drive the 7 hours to the airport. Unable to get to get a rental car in rural CO, I end up having to take the car my brother rented (we had other family members who they ended up in a car with) and drive 8 hours to Aurora, CO (on no f-ing sleep! They were clearly hungover) to make the flight. I get yet another hotel room, pay for an expensive dinner (that poor dad fell asleep in the middle of) and get him on his flight in the morning. I then pay my change fee and get sent to an airport far away from my intended destination. A total shit show to say the least, but Dad got home okay and that's all that matters. My brother continues on the trip and tells me he even got a couple hundred back on the car since it was returned a few days early.

A couple weeks later, I tally up the costs and send my brother his amount. Radio silence. I remind him that he still hasn't paid me the half of mom's Christmas present that he agreed to (and was his idea) and he's all "Sorry. Didn't know" and I go, "NBD. Just add it to the check". More radio silence! Meanwhile, he's on FB taking more vacations and buying expensive shit for his dog and a pair of F-ing jetskis! I ask for the money again, to no avail and then basically let it go.

Fast forward to now and I haven't heard from him since July of last year. Dad had just been released from the hospital (pneumonia) and my brother had driven down (they are on the west coast) and done some yard work and had "Paid a yard boy and it sure would be nice if I could help him out with "OUR PARENTS" and maybe make a contribution. I go well, I've been waiting for what you owe me, I take care of ordering Dad's collectors items for him off of eBay and he's quite a bit in the hole for some of that, and I just paid for mom to come visit and now I am going to pay for camp for our daughter so I will take a pass. I feel like I make a considerable contribution already and it's nice to have someone else finally paying for something. Keep a tally of what you're spending and tell me when you get to $2000 and we can talk. Until then, I am perfectly comfortable letting you pay for those things".

Anyway, he said "I knew you would be like that. You always are". and then hung up on me. It comes as no surprise because he is the quintessential guy who only cares about other people when he needs something, but those of you in similar situations. How do you deal with this? I don't want to fight him on anything but he is combative and unreasonable at every turn. I can't have my bloodpressure go up everytime I interact with him. It also puts me in a terrible mood. Dad has been diagnosed with cancer and I imagine all the shit is gonna hit the fan soon so I need a way that I can deal with and respond without going crazy. [/quote]

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