Reply to Being cut off by a sibling and dealing with the estrangement

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"I shared absolutely everything with them! Everything!!! Well, except for my clothes, of course, because I didn't want to"

Look, OP, your parents probably did you a disservice by making clear that you were their favorite. You benefitted from that every day of your life, while your sisters' resentment grew. That's all very natural. [b]But it's noteworthy that you didn't notice the negative pattern until it started affecting you negatively.[/b]

I agree with pp. Go talk to a counselor, make sure you're being your best self, and get advice about whether or not to try to reconnect with your sisters. [/quote]

It is hard to hav sympathy even though you want to latch onto "but I was a preemie!".  That may fly with your parents, but not anyone else.  You need to work on yourself.  [b]You can't undo what you did to your siblings in the past[/b], they hurt too, and their feelings matter just as much.[/quote]

NP here, but the OP didn't do anything to her siblings - their parents did.  I think the first step is to recognize who really is to blame here.  the sisters are getting angry at the wrong person.  They should be resenting their parents for not parenting in a healthy way.

Someone downthread mentioned that they were just kids - but so was OP.  She was just a kid too.  [/quote]

OP is not responsible for her parents’ actions, but is she is responsible for how she continued to play into the dynamic as an adult, and for whether she acknowledges how hurtful the situation was for her siblings. I was also a favored older child growing up, and it became pretty corrosive over time to my relationship with my sister. As I gained greater self-awareness as a young adult and could see the dynamic,ic for what it was, though, I was able to repair my relationship with my sister by acknowledging how she’d been hurt by our parents’ behavior and how I’d fed into it as a kid/teen, and by making an effort as an adult to push back against my parents’ continued favoritism. I couldn’t change how they treated her, but I could show her I cared about her and had her back.[/quote]

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