Reply to Being cut off by a sibling and dealing with the estrangement

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[quote=Anonymous]"It doesn't matter that YOU find her examples egregious - it matters that they feel that way to her. You are being dismissive of her experiences, and devaluing them according to your determination - not how it feels to her.

I also think that you come across as pretty narcissistic, which is common in dysfunction families with a favorite. It doesn't mean that you are deliberately mean and awful, but that this is a system and that is the role you played in the family. Your sisters are other people - they are not there to help you "function" and they are not your tribe. You have to respect their decisions that help *them* function best. Have you been in therapy to try and unwind your family dynamics and see how it's affected all of you? "

Bravo, PP.  this is well said.  You alienating your siblings by being favored.  They are not there to help you feel better and cope - they were "just kids", just as you were.  In families like this, the favored child is enabled and truly does not see the forest for the trees. OP, the other siblings paired off.  Do you blame them?

There are a lot of preemies that are not coddled. I think its time you let go of that. If you do not, you will have a miserable identity crisis of epic proportions when your parents pass away.  I know someone who spent their life trying to run from favoritism, while reaping each benefit, and taking full advantage of the parents financially (stealing - while denying it, of course).  While her sneakiness was rewarded by the favoring parent, the real world did NOT feel the same way. She has never adjusted, and probably never will.

I don't know if you will ever be welcome by your siblings, but I know you sure enjoyed that favoritism and reaped the benefits, didn't you?  Yes, you were a kid, but you can't tell me that you were completely unaware. I am not saying it is entirely your fault, but I am positive that you fed into it.  It was good while it lasted, huh OP?[/quote]

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