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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up in what I thought was a living close knit family of 5 sisters. I was the oldest and a preemie who barely survived. As such I was a sickly child and my parents doted on me and worked hard to ensure I was, safe, happy and confortable. The rest of my siblings all had normal births and were happy and thriving. Due to being a preemie, I looked different from other children my age. I was small and super skinny and would have regular stomach issues, bouts or flu and asthma. I was picked on at school and was extremely shy. As such, I spent a lot of time with my parents who I felt loved and valued me.

I think because of my circumstances I accidentally took too much attention away from my other siblings. I’d say my parents loved us all very much but I have always been the favorite. I know my mother would always save the last piece or cake or fruit for me and my father would always say I was his special best friend. The rest of my siblings were also doted on and given a lot of love and attention but mine was just a smidge more. I guess due to my early illness I leaned into my parents and built my relationship with them while the rest of my siblings like normal teens found companionship and acceptance outsidebthe home.

Even despite this my sisters and I were very close up until our thirties. I have wonderful warm memories of each of us spending a lot of time together and being the best of friends. Suddenly as we grew into adults I realized the other sisters, especially the two right behind me, got closer and closer. They became best friends and together decided out of the blue that I was “selfish.” I was shocked as I really do not remember being selfish with anything. As far as I knew my sisters were my best friends and I shared everything with them ( secrets, hopes, dreams, aspirations, seeking advice etc). The example they gave me is that I didn’t like sharing my clothes with them. Which, ok yes I did not. They never asked nicely or would sneakily steal my clothes and then throw them on the floor!

But it also became apparent to me that they all resent me for being “the favorite” and have bad feelings about me.

The one 4 years younger than me has cut me off. She says I have hurt her by being selfish and crazy my whole life. When I ask for examples [b]she doesn’t give very many instances that seem particularly aggregious[/b].

I have said I’m sorry and that I miss her. But nope. The rest of the sisters have all taken her side.

I am devastated. I feel like I can’t fundtion without my tribe.

How can I make peace and move on? It is her decision to remove me from her life and I don’t want to be selfish by pushing myself in it.

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It doesn't matter that YOU find her examples egregious - it matters that they feel that way to her. You are being dismissive of her experiences, and devaluing them according to your determination - not how it feels to her.

I also think that you come across as pretty narcissistic, which is common in dysfunction families with a favorite. It doesn't mean that you are deliberately mean and awful, but that this is a system and that is the role you played in the family. Your sisters are other people - they are not there to help you "function" and they are not your tribe. You have to respect their decisions that help *them* function best. Have you been in therapy to try and unwind your family dynamics and see how it's affected all of you?
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