Reply to I am exhausted with the amount of time DH expects me to spend with HIS family.

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[quote=Anonymous]DH has expected me to spend the last 3 weekends with his family: Mother’s Day, a birthday party, and then next weekend with his family for Memorial Day at their cabin.

My family lives in another country. I see them maybe 2-3x/year and the visits are optional for DH. I don’t expect him to spend time with my family but he’s always happy to come along.

I’m upgrading math courses so I’m going to school at night, training for a 10k, and I have a full time demanding job. I’m exhausted on the weekends and am very introverted, I get exhausted around his family because they’re all very close and outgoing and I feel like an outsider and get tired of making small talk for 4 hours and watching the clock pass.

I’ve told DH that I have a math final coming up and can’t commit to 3 social engagements when I need to study. I’ve told him I am happy to pick ONE and go to it. I didn’t go to Mother’s Day so it’s between a birthday or a Memorial Day overnight visit.

I told DH I would rather go to Memorial Day, as we can rent our own Air BNB nearby. DH wants me to go to both the birthday party and Memorial Day. He said he feels like “I married his family” and it’s awkward for him when he has to explain my absences. He understands I have school but doesn’t understand how hard math actually is for me and the amount of time I have to devote to study.

Can I go to one family event without being an asshole to DH? I honestly thought I would change after marriage and want to be more involved with his family, but the truth is I don’t. I’ve asked DH to let me warm up to his family on my own and he’s not happy with the snails pace I’m taking. I don’t have any problem with the amount of time DH spends with his family, and he sees them probably once per week for quick visits. It gives me the space to do my own thing and have the house quiet for a while. [/quote]

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