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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like MIL took your comment about your daughter wanting to spend time with her as a subtle request/pressure, even though you clarified you weren't asking her to come... [/quote]
At least that's what they are saying...but they are adults. They don't have to come if they don't want to do so. And when you agree to something many people are counting on (we've spent thousands on airline tickets etc), then you follow through even if you don't really want to anymore.

I think, in the end, it's just for me a lot of subtle indications that they don't care as much. And it's a sharp contrast to how they treat SIL who is local to them. Another example, that this reminds me of, is that they scheduled their huge 50th anniversary party exactly one week before my due date with DS...when I obviously couldn't fly out there and DH couldn't really since it was so close to my due date. As it turned out, DS was born on the day of that party. I just can't imagine my parents planning a huge milestone celebration on a day I absolutely couldn't attend. DH tries to be stoic about it and explain it away, but in truth it hurts him that they treat him like he's less of a family member just because we are a little further away. And it's not like the idea of people moving far away is unheard of to them. ILs moved clear across the country from their parents, and DH's grandparents ended up choosing to retire near ILs just to forge a connection with DH and SIL.[/quote]

50th anniversary means they're in their mid-70s nows?  I think that gets in the "too old to be relied upon for chlidcare" category (in addition to them just being flakes.)  My MIL is super dedicated to my child, but I've noticed that there was a big difference between 69 when DS was born, and mid-70s where she is now.

Regardless, I agree with you that this is very disappointing, but maybe it will help to reframe the situation towards them being in the phase of life where they need your support, and not the other way around.  [/quote]

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