Reply to "preferred parent" in same sex relationships

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Reply to ""preferred parent" in same sex relationships"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm wondering how others cope with being the non-preferred parent in same sex relationships.  I'm the birth parent and my 2.5 year old daughter prefers my partner to me.  I think we're both good parents; she just has a preference for my partner.  For some reason, I think this would be easier on me if we were in a hetero relationship...but it's really hard that my kid vastly prefers her other mom for almost everything ("Mommy sit next to me, not momma!"  "Mommy puts on my shoes, not you!")  I make sure to spend quality one-on-one time with her (and I do so more often than my partner because of our work schedules), but nonetheless, she is just drawn to my partner as her primary connection.

Should we start to say things like "that's not nice" when she expresses a preference? Should we insist that I do things like put on her shoes, even when her preferred mom is available?  Basically, I want to do whatever will lead me to a close relationship in the long run.

I'm doing my best not to burden my kid with my own hurt feelings (but they ARE hurt).  I think this is made harder by the fact that most people perceive me as the gender-conforming birth mom...so lots of people make surprised comments about my kid preferring her other mom.[/quote]

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