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[quote=Anonymous]At this point, there's no immediate problem to solve, since my mom is making adjustments to help us out...but I need to vent.

We have a 1 and 4 y.o., and in July DH and I are planning our first real vacation alone since before they were born. The idea came up over Christmas, when my mom mentioned that if we wanted to go on a vacation she would watch our kids. Since older DD was born, my mom has always made a big deal about DH and I needing to spend time alone together to keep our marriage strong, so this is in line with that. Neither ILs or my parents live where we do (all are airplane rides away), and my parents live quite a bit further away.

While we were making plans, I talked to DD about spending time with just my mom, and she asked if MIL was also coming. I passed this along to MIL in a very light-hearted way, because I thought she'd be happy that DD wanted to spend time with her. I said explicitly that my mom was coming, and we really didn't expect her to come...but a couple weeks later she sent me and DH an email saying she would be happy to come when we go on our trip. So, ultimately, we worked out a plan where ILs would come a couple days before we leave, and then my mom would overlap while we were gone and then stay for the weekend after we got back. This was a month-ish ago, and tickets were purchased. Well, this weekend, ILs just announce, without apology, that they weren't going to come after all. Ultimately, my mom changed her work schedule and tickets to be here just for our trip...and now I won't really get to see her at all.

I know we're lucky that they even offered to come, but apparently they told DH that they felt pushed into it and it was too much to ask. We didn't ask or expect it!! I told MIL something because I thought it would make her happy...and we would never have brought it up again if she hadn't. My mom was planning to watch the kids for the entire week, and if that had been the plan we would have scheduled our trip around her work instead of her now having to reschedule her work. I'm venting because this is just another indication that ILs just really don't value a relationship with us unless we go far out of our way to make it happen...something DH recognizes but hasn't really internalized. He just seemed so crushed that they did this...especially in comparison to my mom changing her plans for us (and my parents are far from perfect).

I don't know...just venting.[/quote]

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