Reply to Sister in Law is a jerk. How do I get out of spending time with her?

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[quote=Anonymous]My sister in law has been rude for years to us. Her family is a mess with two kids out of work and none who graduated college and she is jealous now of anyone with any success. She keeps everything about her family hidden from us but then tries to cut down us as much as she can. Our family has its issues like any family and we are honest about them but at the same time, I don't want to hear about them all the time either and the thing is she won't really talk to us in-between her accusations. We come up several times a year to visit and are as kind as can be despite her poor behavior towards us. But now her kids are grown and it's just her, her husband, and my husband's mother who lives with them at the house and doesn't speak English. While I put no blame on the mother, I can't talk to her, so every time we visit there is a lot of awkward silence. Lately though they've been working while we've come up which is just as well. Recently, the mother wanted to come for our son's communion so we had them all stay at our house. The sister was a complete jerk the whole weekend. She constantly criticized us, criticized my own mother several times who hosted a party for everyone. At the party she never said a word except a couple of curt accusations and then came home and said how bored she was after we spent over 3 hours trying to be friendly to her. I feel anxious and miserable every time I think of spending more time with her, but we have a summer vacation visit scheduled soon. Is it possible to somehow break up with this sister in law while not hurting my husband's relationship with them and my children's relationship with them? I'm perfectly happy having them travel up without me to visit. Or is it just better to make it through another five to ten years before the mother dies and hope they are working when we come up? By then my kids will be adults as well and my husband can just travel up when he wants to.[/quote]

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