Reply to Saying no to an invitation too dance at a MS dance

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[quote=Anonymous]Disagree. We need to be sure our kids are very comfortable both saying "no," and taking "no" for an answer.

Parents should help their kids develop some language in advance, so they're ready if someone asks and they want to say no. They should have a polite, let-them-down-easy answer ready, as well as a firmer backup if the point is pressed in an uncomfortable way.

And we should also be talking to kids about what happens if they ask and the other person says no. They need to be able to recover with dignity. What does it mean if the other person turns you down—are they being a total jerk, or a bitch? What would you say to a polite refusal? If the worst happens, and they laugh or roll their eyes, what would you do?

Because let's stop beating around the bush: add four years, substitute "sex" for "dance," and see if your answer would be different. Because your kid is learning how to negotiate lots of sticky situations right now, and the lessons they learn in middle school will be applied to situations of ever-increasing intensity over the next few years. Whether we like it or not!

Teaching kids that nobody *owes* anybody anything will serve both boys and girls well in the future, as will helping them navigate it all with kindness and respect for each other. [/quote]

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