Reply to For those of you coasting along in a "meh" marriage, why not just end it?

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Reply to "For those of you coasting along in a "meh" marriage, why not just end it?"

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[quote=Anonymous]16:59 here. I suggested you might not care enough because I too was in the same situation a few years ago - I took drastic measures, and finally pulled us both through. Of course, not saying this would work for you or your husband. Also, one or both of you might need help for depression.

After storming and cajoling did not help, I threatened to leave DH and divorce. That woke him up.

I wanted to get counseling for both of us, but he refused. So I read a ton of self-help books - most of them junk - and understood that I have to model good behavior (like you did) but also expect him to act in the same way. Called him out respectfully but firmly every time he acted in a disrespectful and disinterested way.

It took maybe 2 years of grueling sniping and talks of respect, boundaries, etc. But he understood that he had to get involved in our lives (DC and mine) and spend time with us enjoying the little things. He has learned all over again what behavior ticks me off, what makes me happy, etc. Reconnecting after loss of trust/love is hard work, and sometimes you feel as if all the hard work is done by you! But trying to reconnect again might pay off. Good luck.[/quote]

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