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[quote=Anonymous]DH has a very controlling mother.  Even though I asked him to stand up to her, he generally puts it off on whatever the issue until I do it whether her insisting on moving in for a month or telling us where we are allowed to vacation.  If I don't do it, he caves into his mother's unreasonable demands and then I still end up "fixing" it but just later when I have to tell her that no, we are not pulling the kids it of school for two weeks in September to go on a cruise with you no matter what your son agreed to do.  It's been like that since we were dating years ago where I kind of took on this role.  In any case, she hates me, always had, tells him to divorce me, and I don't mind.  He feels safe and healthier now, has a job he likes (he had just had a job she told him to take), lives where he wants, etc.  We have two kids and have had an awesome marriage and we have a very healthy boundaries with his mom where I serve as a gatekeeper. Not ideal but a lot better than many of my friends.

But, DH told me last week that he only married me to stand up to her.  Basically he would have preferred to marry any of his prior long-term girlfriends or anyone else but none of them were willing to take a stand against his mom and this was his "ticket.". He feels bad but he just realized that he didn't and doesn't love me. He's "willing" to stay married to me but feels like he's outgrown the relationship.  We made an appointment with a counselor but she couldn't see us before the end of May (and she's covered by insurance).  I feel like this is just a "goodbye" visit that he is fine doing to make me happy because I demanded it and he "owes" it to me.  He's not going to change his mind.

And the weirdest part is that I'm okay with it.  Yes, I loved him and I'm in a daze but I got 2 kids out if it and I met him when I was 30 and may not have had kids.

Is divorce really that big of a deal?  And, I don't even know that we'll get a divorce -- maybe we'll just have an open marriage where we keep up appearances for the kids but tell our adult friends that we are separated and seeing other people.  We have a guest room.  DH moved in there the night he told me.[/quote]

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