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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Backstory: I'm a really bad driver and parker. I've never gotten into a bad car accident but I have fender benders fairly frequently (at least once a year, sometimes more sometimes less). But over the years, it's added up obviously and DH remembers every single one.

Well today I accidentally hit a stop sign while parking the car and he's pissed at me again. He's not giving me the silent treatment but he's icy and distant.

I don't do it on purpose but I have a really bad sense of depth perception. I keep asking if we can trade my car in for something smaller (I drive a minivan and think it would be better if I had something smaller that's easier to park like a Civic) but he refuses to consider the idea because we "need" this big car for trips and things. I kind of feel like that is setting me up to fail again. But still I know it is my fault.

How do you handle it when your partner is justifiably angry at you because you keep making mistakes? [/quote]

Get a big car that parks itself, like the new Ford Expedition.  Just test drove and it did the automatic parking thing.  Pretty cool.

Otherwise, I think you and your husband have something else going on.  There's a weird dynamic with him insisting you drive a care you're not comfortable with (why can't he drive the big car?) and for being icy and distant when you, presumably, apologized for denting/destroying your car.  Are you a SAHM?  Does he feel like you excessively spend "his" money?  Do you often make excuses when you have done something that upsets him (but I didn't mean to!)?  Just trying to figure out what else is going on here.  [/quote]

I think what's going on is that he's a perfectionist and gets *really* upset at himself when he makes mistakes like that so he very rarely does. I'm more laid back and I think it bugs him that I keep getting into fender benders. He sees it as sloppy and careless and I can't say I disagree. I mean, it is right? But obviously I don't do it on purpose. I just hate when I'm completely in the wrong and there's nothing I can say to even mitigate it. I did say sorry several times but obviously that doesn't change things.

I am a SAHM. I wanted the minivan when the kids were little (toddlers and babies). We've had it for 5 years now and our oldest is old enough to sit in the front seat now. We can put the two younger kids in the backseat with him in the front seat. Fine for driving around town. [/quote]

Interesting you noted the differences in your personalities.  I'm definitely Type A and my husband is also, and we both have pretty high expectations of ourselves and of others.  I'm trying to put myself in your husband's shoes since I'm more similar to him than to you.  I think the problem might be that he just doesn't understand how this can continue to happen.  My SIL is totally Type B and is always late for everything.  It drives me insane because I can't figure out how anyone could be continuously late for stuff.  But her brain just works differently than mine does.  It doesn't make her a bad person, but it took me a while to understand that she wasn't doing that stuff on purpose (because it felt purposeful to me).  I'm trying to figure out how you can get your husband to appreciate that you really aren't being careless on purpose, it's just part of your personality, which, presumably has been the case since you got together (I'm guessing at least a decade at this point)?  I'm guessing he enjoys the fact that you are laid back, and there's something about your different personalities that obviously clicks.  I'm not sure how you can make him see things from your perspective, but maybe try again to explain to him that you would really like to get another car that would be easier to park.  Maybe get one that has the cameras all around and the sensors that will beep before you hit something?[/quote]

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