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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Doubt a judge is going to reduce your custodial time because he has a gf. If he offers an overall good living situation, sure maybe he can make a case for custody or 50:50. If he’s seriously suggesting a change, see a lawyer.

Don’t bite op. Gray rock him. Stick to logistics. Use email. Don’t get emotional because he has a cool girl gf. Even if your dad loves her. Lady is not mom. It’s not a competition.

He’s probably just trying to get a ride out of you. Don’t let him. [/quote]

This is good advice. If you show that you are hurt or upset, he will see that as evidence you're jealous. Stay very cool, OP. Never badmouth the GF to your daughter! Be bland and pleasant if DD says "I had a great time doing X with Sally!" Just say, that's great, I'm glad, and never let DD know your ex claims the GF is closer to DD. Keep emotions in check around DD, the ex and GF. Ex may be playing you of may actually think what he claims is true but all YOU can control is your own reaction. Don't say "I'm her mom! No way this woman is closer to her" or otherwise engage DH about his GF. Act as if his "reason" for wanting this time is the same as any other request: Stick firmly to exact letter of the visitation agreement.

You DO have a written agreement approved by that court--? Some parents have only "handshake" informal agreements and that's a bad idea at a time like this.

Is he actually saying he wants to alter a written arrangement to get more time for DD with the GF? Or is he just talking about "Let me have an extra day next week" piecemeal stuff?

You do need to talk to a lawyer since your initial question is s bit confusing. He can't ask for a binding agreement to be changed for his GF to have access but do talk to an experienced lawyer about it.

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