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Reply to "Suggestions for appropriate/effective consequences--11 yo girl bouts of rage"
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[quote=Anonymous]My DD is going through puberty at 11 and has shown a huge increase in flare-ups of belligerent behavior. Other times she is just fine, though overall she is definitely trying to demonstrate independence (e.g., does not want me to chat with her friends at school drop-off). She is often antagonized by my DS, 9, who is hyperactive, cheeky, and likes to get in her personal space.(I'm trying to keep that to a minimum, but it can't be 100% avoided) I am accepting that part of her belligerent behavior is normal; friends with older teenage girls have advised "pick your battles". The following issues, though, to me should warrant consequences: -Destructive fits, such as going into a parent's closet, pulling clothes off hangers and destroying items (cut my necklace, though it was a craft one that she'd made). -biting, kicking, and punching -Walking away without a word when I ask her to do a normal chore. My attempts to address this have been unsuccessful. Example: I've talked calmly with her after things blow over, saying 'I understand you feel/want XYZ, but I want you to understand what are right and wrong'. However, she'll still refuse to clean up a mess she has created. What might be some effective consequences? Demanding that she clean things up has not been effective--it just escalates things and leads to her going into her room, slamming her door, etc. She already has limited screen time and doesn't want to do sports, etc. (she likes to read, craft) She has occasional w/e playdates and I'm reluctant to take those away since I think she needs the social interaction. Any suggestions for consequences you've tried that have been successful without making WW3 break out? [/quote]
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