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[quote=Anonymous]And I am really short on sympathy for her.

It is impossible to avoid her because she lives a block from her parents in an apartment that they pay for. They are struggling financially from poor decisions and then also carrying the burden of supporting her. They alternate between denial and brief acknowledgement of her problem during acute incidents, followed by more denial. Right now, we are all supposed to be pretending that her problems are behind her because she went to a few therapy sessions.  Nevermind that she shows up to get togethers with her pupils all messed up and either extremely talkative or very depressed.

I am happy to mind my own business, except that we have to pay her way every time she shows up to family dinners because she eats up and then bert stares the bill. My in-laws then suggest to DH and I that we split the bill down the middle with them. There is also the fact that my in-laws are starting to make noises about how they will need help because they don’t have much money. The amounts they are spending on her are going to become my problem when I either refuse to help them financially or agree and stew resentfully.

Every now and then, my in-laws complain to us that we don’t let my sister-in-law babysit our children. I think they must be the most stupid idiots alive to think I’ll let a druggie babysit unsupervised, but I can’t say that. It also doesn’t help that they are always telling me about her problems and trying to elicit sympathy. My lack of sympathy has apparently not gone unnoticed and they have been bad mouthing me as coldhearted.

I want to stop subsidizing her meals and endless drinks when she shows up to get togethers and I want to tell my in laws she is still on drugs and I don’t want to hear about their issues anymore. DH wants me to keep being “nice.”

What to do?

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