Reply to S/O: my husband...did not get hot

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He was in good shape when we met, and more importantly he liked being active. I don't expect some Adonis with a six pack, but he's not even 40 yet and has a big flabby stomach and manboobs. Try as I might, I just cannot find that attractive. He will sometimes go on bike rides with me if I push it, but that's about it. How can I encourage him to foster a healthy regular exercise routine? Is that just an impossible mission? I know he feels fat and doesn't like how he looks, but obviously "it bothers me" is as far as he gets. If I had to guess, his biggest holdup (aside from just laziness/complacency) would be that he's tired...but so am I. We're all tired...

The thing is, when we met he DID prioritize fitness. Staying active and healthy is a huge priority to me and it's something I actively looked for in a mate - I feel like I was duped. I hate to say it but we have a group beach trip coming up and I really am kind of embarrassed. The boobs are...not unnoticeable. [/quote]

My husband is in the same situation as yours plus a few years, and I will say that while the health concerns are definitely legitimate, it sounds like your issue is that you're not attracted to him and you're embarrassed by his weight. The former is understandable. The latter does not speak well of you. You married the person that he is. That you feel like you were duped says that you care more about the person that he looks like, rather than the person he is.

Imagine yourself sharing this post with your husband. How do you think he would feel? How do you think you would feel?[/quote]

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