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[quote=Anonymous]I divorced in my late 30s with two young kids, one of whom is SN.  I agonized for years whether to divorce.

I wish I'd done it sooner.  I find life EASIER after divorce.  I'm not saying it's easy, but it's easier.  Your marriage is no example for your kids to see as a relationship -- emotional abuse (which they will perceive, whether they witness it directly), not helping.  I understand that you don't want your kids in a "broken home"--but guess what, they're in one now. You've described a dysfunctional dynamic.

I felt trapped and used the same excuse as you--that some help is better than none.  I'm an only child and my parents passed away--no family help at all. DH was my only support.  With therapy I realized that this fear holding me in place was no reason to stay.

In so many ways it was easier and less work just knowing that I am responsible on my own, not even thinking of relying on my ex.  He does have some parenting time, he didn't disappear.

It was a huge relief to end the marriage and experience the freedom of not being in an emotionally messed up marriage.

I had a great time dating in my little spare time and getting my needs met, dated some very good guys.  I wasn't looking for it but within a few years I met someone amazing and we're married now.  We took it slow for several years.  Yes, it is possible with a SN child.  It's never been an issue between us.  Everybody brings tough stuff, easy and hard, to the table.[/quote]

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