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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a similar situation. After countless bouts of overreacting and manipulating, I no longer visit alone with MIL, and keep actual visits to a minimum, as in, major events and holidays and other obligatory visits.

My husband, for whatever reason, loves his mother unconditionally. He’s conditioned to accept the abuse. However, I’m not. I no longer feel anything towards my MIL. I’d never keep my husband from her, but I limit the access my children have alone with her as she’s tried manipulating them. [/quote]

OP here.  Thanks.  This is where I am.  I really am working on my forgiveness with her, but my suspicious mind is wondering what she really wants,[b] and I hate to think this way, especially if she really is sick.[/b][/quote]
I was told this, and I remind myself often:

We are all in control of our own behavior. Everyone acts poorly from time to time, but we recognize it either while we are going it, or afterwards, and we apologize, or take action to change it. To claim someone should be “allowed” to act poorly because of illness (mental or otherwise) is incorrect. If someone is so out of touch with reality that they no longer know right from wrong, perhaps they should be institutionalized. We all know they don’t really need institutionalization, they know exactly what they are doing, they are just using their illness as an excuse. And we don’t have to tolerate it. [/quote]

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